Recent Mid-Riff guests Pamela Cole and Ellen Angelico are co-owner and an employee (respectively) of Fanny’s House of Music in Nashville. One of the few women-owned music stores (Pamela co-owns the store with her partner Leigh Maples) in the country (and the world?) pride themselves on being “Nashville’s Most Comfortable Music Store.” This had me thinking about the types of music store sales experiences that make people uncomfortable.
With that, I want to share with you my Music Store Salesperson Tropes. I am not doing this to make fun of anyone, but to point out that these are experiences that dealers should avoid providing their customers. Of course, as Pamela and Ellen mentioned- many of these are experienced by folks of all genders and as a general rule, no one likes them. But based on my experience and conversations, and as Pamela reinforced, cis women, trans, and non-binary folks might experience them more often.
Also, I know this is a very hard time for small businesses, so I know a focus on this or a call for training can feel like “one more thing” on top of all of the other challenges right now, but offering a quality customer service experience will put you leaps and bounds above other shops and competition from the internet.
Before I get into this list, I will add that training is key to supporting your staff and, by extension, your customers. Unless you’ve already created a super ideal and intentional space for your store, as Fanny’s have, training staff on everything from communication to microaggressions can be super helpful in avoiding the following tropes.
The Mansplainer
This guy is CLASSIC. It might feel like he gets all the (negative) attention. Pamela and Ellen mentioned him specifically in our conversation, as with many of these other guys. The Mansplainer is compelled to tell you all about the guitar that you need, even though you already have that guitar at home. He needs to tell you about true bypass even though you work for a pedal company. He needs to tell you about the fact that Stevie Ray Vaughn played 13 gauge strings even though you don’t care. Nobody likes this. Don’t be the mansplainer. Maybe The Mansplainer is trying to hit on you with his knowledge? It’s hard to say.
Some might ask-- does this mean that anytime a man explains something to a woman that they are a mansplainer? Nope! If the woman asks you a question and you give her a brief, clear, and humble answer that is empathetic and about helping rather than spewing info, you are good to go!
The Guitar Center Employee Who Knows Less Than You Do
Sometimes these last two are combined, which can be extra annoying. Mansplainer might actually know what they are talking about, but this GC employee doesn’t. I am mentioning GC specifically because this is a phenomenon they are known for, but I have honestly never seen anywhere else.
I think generally dealers try to hire people who know what they are talking about (or train them to know what they are talking about), even if they are mansplaining. But not GC. This is not to say all of their employees are like this because they definitely aren’t and I’ve known people who work there who are very knowledgeable. But there are an equal number who seem to have little experience, which somehow does not keep them from telling you all about things you already know about.
I will add, I went to a Guitar Center last weekend, because I was at a store nearby and needed to kill some time. It was pretty sad. Half of the walls were empty. I feel a little bad picking on them, but I honestly think if they could fix some of their training and customer service issues they’ve had over the years, they could potentially survive. (edit: looks like they may be filing for bankruptcy?)
The Ignorer
Pamela mentioned this guy, as well. It seems like there are a lot of things potentially going on with The Ignorer. And potentially a lot of assumptions, as well.
Are they assuming you don’t play? That another customer might buy something or at least buy something more expensive than you would? That you are a mom who isn’t a musician, who is waiting for their kid to finish lessons? Are they just bored? Too busy talking to their friend?
One thing that might fix this would be to pay folks a flat salary instead of a commission. That would up the likelihood of everyone being treated fairly. Just throwing that out there.
The “Is That for Your Boyfriend?” Guy
Another CLASSIC mentioned by Pamela and Ellen. Almost every musician on the podcast so far has mentioned this guy. Just never say these words. Never ever. I don’t think I need to belabor this point and the assumptions entailed here. If it’s for someone’s boyfriend and that is somehow significant to the conversation, I assure you that the customer will let you know.
The Overbearing Salesperson
I understand that this is a little confusing. How does one strike a balance between The Ignorer and The Overbearing Salesperson?
Well, you want to acknowledge a customer and ask if you can help, but then if they don’t need your help, or after you help them, you can go away for a while. You don’t have to check back in for at least another, say, 10 minutes. And even then, a check-in can just be a quick smile. You can also just let them come to you. Many people prefer that. But you do want to be warm and approachable if someone does have a question— not in team Mansplainer.
The Overbearing Salesperson could also try to sell you something you don’t want. Think about this as a long-term situation; focusing on long-term trust-building over a short-term commission. If you help them find something they actually want, you build trust. If you just sell them whatever or something they don’t need, you lose trust. And long-term sales.
The “You’re Pretty Good for a Girl” Guy
I feel like we’ve made some movement on this one. People, I THINK, generally know not to say it, though it is still out there. But I think this falls directly in line with stores or salespeople who make cis women, trans, and non-binary folks, or anyone really, feel like they need to “prove themselves” by playing or mentioning particular gear to get good service. That’s not how sales should work and that’s not how you develop trust with customers. Create a better space.
The Grump
The Grump can be confusing. As folks have mentioned a few times on the podcast, it’s sometimes hard to tell whether The Grump is being mean to you because you aren’t a man who he assumes he can talk with about exactly which Fender amps are silver face and which aren’t and he doesn’t have time to deal with you and your lack of knowledge, or if he’s literally just grumpy all the time to everyone. I’m gonna go ahead and guess it’s usually a little of both here. Honestly, I feel kinda bad for The Grump. Being that grumpy all the time can’t be fun and you know there’s something back in there that a little therapy could help with so that he could be less grumpy. Go get therapy, Grumpster!
What do I do with this information?
If you work at a music store, a good first step here is to self-assess: am I acting like any of those guys? A good second step is to discuss those tropes with all of your employees and provide appropriate training so they don’t engage in these, or other potentially problematic behaviors. If you are a manufacturer, it's important to ensure that dealers are representing your gear appropriately and not turning off potential customers. If you are a customer, you are probably already voting with your money-- but letting dealers and manufacturers know why you went elsewhere can help change the culture, too!
I want music stores to survive and thrive! In order for this to happen, they need to be places where everyone can feel comfortable— and recognizing and preventing these tropes can help.